A Love-Hate Food Relationship (Final Draft)

Whitney Smith

ENG 121-012

Food Narrative

24 February 2011

A Love-Hate Food Relationship

Growing up with a strong Hispanic/Mexican heritage, I have been surrounded by food my entire life. Food is probably the most important element in the Mexican culture. Most traditions and daily acts revolve around the preparation and eating of food. My family and I always joke how food is involved in pretty much everything we do. Whenever I walk into a relative's home the first thing asked is, "Are you hungry hita?" No matter what the occasion is, there is always food, enough to feed an entire village (or my family). Every family member contributes, each bringing something to share with everyone else. Everything steaming hot, from the cornhusk wrapped tamales that one can't wait to unwrap, to the freshly home made tortillas rolled out into perfect circles.

Over the years, I have acquired bizarre and fastidious cravings for these foods from my heritage. I connect certain flavors and smells with many compassionate and comforting memories of family. The comfort I get is an extremely satisfying and uplifting feeling. Linking the present taste to a feeling I previously had before. Whenever I eat my grandmother’s potatoes, eggs, bacon and green chili breakfast it takes me back to when I was little and slept over her house. There was never a morning she didn’t cook me breakfast while I was still watching television in her waterbed. No one has ever made a more delicious breakfast nor have I met anyone who can cook like my grandmother.

Food always has had a tendency to put a smile on my face. Then I had a turn for the worst medically. A little more than a year ago I developed very intense stomach pains and debilitating nausea. I couldn’t keep even keep liquids down and because of that I needed to be attached to an IV at all times. I spent almost four months in the hospital being put through test after test after retests. They found that my gallbladder wasn’t functioning properly and said this may be why I am having the bad pains. I had my gallbladder removed only to find out this was not the answer to my problems. I still kept vomiting and the pains grew even more severe. The doctors were stumped; they had no idea what was wrong with me. After all the doctors had no clue how to move forward they just simply pointed their fingers at me and said I was doing this to myself. The doctors sent counselors into my room saying I had to be bulimic and ordering cat scans of my brain assuming they did all they could do. This sent my emotions in a downward spiral. I knew in my head and heart I was not doing this to myself even though the medics saw differently. All I could think to myself was, “I love food. Why don’t they believe me?” Finally the Doctors decided to put me through one last test, a gastric emptying scan, even though it was a “long shot.” The test results that came back were repulsive. The gastroenterologist only had bad news for me, telling me that they finally found the root of my problems. He explained to me that I have very severe Gastroparesis. This completely shifted my life around.

Since Gastroparesis has no known cure, one of the limited things I can do to help cope is drastically change my diet. There are numerous food items I need to avoid and so many rules to go along with. Because I love my Mexican food so much and (like most teens) enjoyed my fast meals “on the go”, it has been a struggle to buckle down and change what I am consuming. Especially when I am constantly surrounded by all my family’s cooking. I have had to teach myself what foods I can tolerate and which cause me massive pain through just simply testing my limits. I now know that I have to moderate the food I eat with family if I don’t want to have to suffer the consequences later. I cant live on liquids because of my cravings but I have found recipes that aren’t as harsh to digest. My close family has tried to adapt to these new regulations I have acquired but the big family get-togethers will always be a challenge due to my own temptation.

My diet is very tricky when it comes to pleasing my hunger, preventing pain, and eating a little healthier. It is just a matter of understanding my limits and definitely not pushing them. Even though I sometimes let my illness cause me to not see my own love of food and their connection with memories, I just remind myself that life goes on no matter what obstacles I have to overcome. And those memories will always be in my heart even with just one taste or bite.